WE'RE NOT IN KANSAS ANYMORE

I am pretty sure I uttered those words to Kerry at least once on Saturday's bike ride.  I am going to let her give you the nitty gritty details of the ride but let me just preview it a bit.  It included wind varying from "What a nice breeze" to "Oh sweet Jesus hold on to your hats".  Rain came in the form of cooling mists to torrential freaking downpours invoking thoughts such as "Umm...where is the road?" to "I really hope there isn't a pothole under that puddle" to "Lord, please let me live through this bike ride!!!!!"  We experienced so many things out there and I am pretty sure I saw this woman go by at one point

By the time we abandoned the ride in the interest of life and well-being I had 57 miles in.  Too bad I needed 80.  So what to do?  I honestly wanted to just jump in a warm shower and go back to bed at that point.  But I didn't.  I went in the house and changed into warm clothes.  I then went back out and cleaned and dried my bike off as much as possible and brought it in.  I then sat on the edge of the bathtub with my feet under warm water to thaw them out and get feeling back into them.  I then put my freakin bike back on the trainer and got dressed for a ride.  After pouring the water (no joke) out of my bike shoes I had to put them back on.  They were drenched. What to do?  I was already miserable enough and just got feeling back in my feet.  I did not want wet feet.  Thanks to a recent Walmart shopping trip I was in luck.

Socks on feet inside walmart bags inside soaked bike shoes

Now if I wore this outfit into Walmart I would fit right in!!!!  On the trainer I go for 23 more miles.  I really didn't know whether to laugh or cry at this point.  I put Spongebob on TV, my MP3 in my ears and pedalled away.  1.5 hrs later I was done.....with the bike that is.  I had to run 2 miles then.  Did I mention it was torrentially downpouring???  Off I go.  Three seconds after I walked out I was soaked.  I attempted for the first 2 minutes to avoid puddles but that wasn't happening so I just ran through them.  A little over 19 minutes later I was finally done with what has become the single most miserable workout of my entire life.  Later in the day I emailed my coach about the day and he called me hard-core and said he was extremely impressed that I finished out the workout.  Apparently a lot of people would have called it quits.  I can honestly say that despite wanting to lay on the floor and cry and scream and kick my feet I NEVER considered not finishing.  There's no giving up in Ironman.
Other than grocery shopping, laundry and eating and napping I did pretty much nothing else the rest of the day.  I was trying to recover a bit for today's 2hr run and open water swim.  5:15 AM this morning and I am out the door staring a two hour run in the face.  UGH.  At least it wasn't raining.  Kerry and I met in the middle of the distance between our houses and off we went.  Neither of us felt stellar but I felt better than Kerry so opposite of last week I dragged her through the run.  You could tell we were both wiped because we talked very little.  Sometimes on a tough run it takes everything you have to keep moving forward so there is just nothing left in you for conversation.  That was today.  Somehow we muddled through and did it.  We then had a whole 30 mins to change and gather our stuff before Cindy picked us up for swimming.  I am surprised neither of us fell asleep in the car on the way there.  Seeing Cindy helped because we haven't seen her for so long and we had a lot to talk about.  We got to the pond, wedged ourselves in our wetsuits and set out for a swim.  Oh yeah...it was raining. Whatever.  I was pretty slow even for me on the way out to the other side and Cindy and Kerry were great about sticking with me.  It also helped to have their bright orange and green swim cap heads to sight off of.  We stopped at the other end of the pond to regroup and headed back.  I felt much better on the way back and aside from my hands going numb towards the end was pretty happy we did it.  We probably swam a little over 1.2 miles in around 50 mins.  I can't believe I have to do that twice on race day!!!!!!!!! Makes me want to throw up.  What a week of training is all I can say.  Next week looks like around 17 hrs scheduled.  No wonder I nap every weekend!!!
A final note.......we have a new member in the village.  Liam Vincent Bahorik became a member of YINZ on Friday.  Welcome to the zoo Liam.  You have no idea what you are in for.  Congratulations Justin and Sara.

He is absolutely thinking...."Are you kidding me???? Am I really related to them??!!!!!"

JUST HOW DID YOU GET IN THAT THING????

Oh my peeps...it is a double blog weekend.  First let me say HAPPY BIRTHDAY MOM.  I love you and hope you have a wonderful day.  Second let me say while most people were spending the weekend at cookouts drinking beer and eating hot-dogs I was putting in 110 miles on my bike, 15 miles of running and 1.5 hrs of swimming.   Don't worry though...I found time to chow down in an epic manner also!!!  When there is a will there is a way.  So this morning Kerry and I headed to Stiles Pond in Boxford to see how our wetsuits fit and get a feel for the open water.  Kerry bought a new wetsuit this year that she hasn't tried on and I was going to try out Cindy's since hers has sleeves and mine doesn't.  We got lost on the way there.  We finally found the place and it was pretty crowded.  There were quite a few crazy people just like us testing the waters.  Quinn came along for moral support and for laughs.  She knew the whole putting on a wetsuit thing was going to be a freak show.  We didn't disappoint.  It is probably best to just chronicle this in pictures.  I apologize in advance for any excessive skin.  Putting on a wetsuit is scary business people.

I really hope no one is watching this

Does this make my thighs look big???

I need a nap now but were in.

I can't get the crotch above my knees!!

Do we really have to swim?  Hey...what are you looking at?

After a 45 min drive there, probably a good 20 mins wedging ourselves in the suits we set out for our swim.  15 minutes later we were done.  Yep..all that work for 15 minutes.  It was really just a test of the suit.  The water was nice which is good.  Next week I will hopefully get the opportunity to really get in a swim.  Not looking forward to it.  Did I mention I hate swimming????

THE VILLAGE PEOPLE PART 7.......FRIENDS

I was going to say training partners but they are much more than that.  They truly are friends.  And wonderful ones at that.  10 years ago a little article in the Salem News about a new triathlon training program sparked interest in 6 households on the North Shore (me, Kerry, Patty, Cindy, Bonnie and Deb). For various reasons all six of us signed up and over the next four months we became training partners.  After our first successful tri we kept on training for different races...road, tri, swimming etc.  As the events came and went we became friends.  10 years later we still train together but we also go to dinner, go to events, travel for races, hang out at each other's houses, laugh, vent and cry together.  We have seen babies born, kids graduate from high school and college, divorce, jobs lost and jobs found.

Kerry, Patty, Deb, Bonnie and me at my
house for pizza night.  Cindy couldn't make it.  Her boss doesn't understand we are far more important than her job!!!!!

Me, Cindy and her husband Steve before the Chicago Marathon.










We have had so many adventures over the years...Let's see....Kerry and I got shit-faced after a 10k in the pouring rain that featured free beer.  That was all well and good till we realized she had to drive us home.  We spent quite a while under the tent in the rain sobering up. Running in a white-out blizzard with snow up to mid calf.  Then there was that epic ride that Patty, Deb and I were on that was awesome until the skies opened up and the thunder and lightening and gusty winds started.  Oh yeah...that happened to Kerry and I too.  Can't forget our stay at the Haunted Mansion when we went to Lake Placid to cheer on Bonnie and Patty.  Or our stay at the "Raj Mahal" for our relay across Massachusetts.  So many good times. Each of these women is an athlete in their own right.  Every one of us has done a half-ironman.  Patty is a 4 time Ironman.  Bonnie  is a 2 time Ironman and has done the Escape from Alcatraz tri.  We have completed marathons in Boston, Bermuda, Chicago, Maine, Lowell, Ipswich and probably a few other places. We have been each other's biggest cheerleaders and biggest motivators.  We are like our own version of the Marines.  We leave no man behind.  If one of us is struggling with a workout someone will go back and get them.  And for all of you sitting on your couch thinking this is for "young" people.  UMMM  NO.  Kerry is the baby at 40.  I am the next youngest at 45.  Patty comes in at 48, Cindy over 50, Deb and Bonnie over 60 so no matter your age!!!!! 
Speaking of leaving no man behind.....Kerry and I spent quality training time together this weekend.  Saturday we knocked out 60 miles on the bike and followed it up with a 1 hour run.  The bike was scenic featuring a deer, two turkeys and a turtle.  There was also a swarm of gnats or something that we rode through twice in Ipswich.  You couldn't see them but could feel them pelting you everywhere.  I was covered in those things.  They don't call them no-seeums for nothing.  I turned around and went back a few times for Kerry and we ended pretty much at the same time at our respective houses which was the plan.  After a quick change we were going to run towards each other and do our run.  Whether I went too hard on the bike or it was the heat and humidity I don't know but I cound NOT have possibly felt worse on this run.  Having Kerry there helped for a bit but I was struggling.  In the meantime Kerry was running like a Kenyan at Boston making it look easy.  She said it felt like running in an oven but she looked slightly misty while I looked washed up and discarded.  I kept telling her to go ahead...don't worry about me....I will be fine....no really ...it's is ok.  NOPE.  She would run ahead a bit then circle back and make sure I was still breathing.  She did this to the end of my street then turned around and went home.  When I thanked her she simply said "It's What We DO".  She is right.  It is what we do for training partners and friends.

YET ANOTHER RIDE ON THE EMOTIONAL ROLLERCOASTER

For the love of God can someone please stop this ride and LET ME OFF!  In the past 7 days I have cried like a baby and been so very mad at the big guy upstairs, laughed out loud, wanted to beat the ever-loving crap out of someone, and have wanted to do a cartwell I was so happy.  Maybe I should change my name to Sybil.  Let's hit the training highlights first.  Weds I had the pleasure of running in Stewartstown, PA, home of my lovely cousin Chris and as far as I can tell nothing else but alpacas and cows.  I did indeed see both while I was there.  I had 8 miles to do and let me say if I lived there I would be very well trained for Lake Placid.  Holy Hills Batman.  I was topping out at 966 ft according to my Garmin where as back here in flat-ass Mass I am lucky to hit 144 ft.  Thurs I had a weird run where I had to keep my HR at a certain number while running two miles on a track.  That wasn't hard but what WAS hard was not being able to pass the old guy running on the track with me.  Come on.  I was clearly faster than him but not allowed to get my HR rate up so he kept getting further and further away from me.  As soon as my two miles were up I took off like a bat out of hell and zipped passed him and then left the track to finish out my 6 mile run on the streets.
Sat featured a 90 min trainer ride followed by an hour run.  Kerry and I did the run together and it was so good to be able to talk to her and vent about my week.  All was well until 45 mins in when we ran into this

OMG. We were running on a paved bike path when her illegally non-leashed dog took off running toward us.  The dog cut right in front of me and I damn near tripped over the thing.  Crazy Dog Lady (CDL) was doing the "Oh honey come back here" thing.  The dog kept running in front of us so I told her to contol her damn dog which sent her into a tailspin about how this was our fault!!!  We should have stopped.  So Kerry nicely informed CDL that there was a leash law in Salem and we were certainly not at fault.  CDL then started yapping about the Human Law.  UMMM WHAT????  We continued to yell back and forth at each other all the while continuing our run.  It took every single ounce of self-control in my and Kerry's body to not beat the crap out of that psycho woman. In fact I was pissed off over that all day.  Sunday was the big day.  Century ride.  I was sick to my stomach and shaking the entire drive to the start. In fact when we went to stand in line to check in I dutifully got in the line marked A-F just as Kerry was saying we had to stand in the same line.  I was confused since Kerry's last name is Murphy so I set her straight and said Kerry you are in the G-N line.  She then informed me that my last name started with H and I too was going to have to stand in the G-N line.  OOPS...told you I was a nervous wreck.  After the first hour I settled in and began to enjoy the ride.  When all was said and done I rode 105.2 miles yesterday in 6hr and 10 mins of riding time.  Most importantly I crossed a major mental hurdle.  It felt very good to get that accomplished.  For more ride details see Kerry's blog.  I did 15 hours of training this week so I am very glad today is a recovery day.
I went to Baltimore this week to see David.  It was a whirlwind trip and certainly jam-packed full of emotion.  It was wonderful to see him and get to spend time with him.  He still has that family sarcasm and humor which is great. So much about that trip just made me mad.  This wasn't how his life was supposed to be.  He was an engineer with a great career, a beautiful wife and son.  A life full of promise. He should be golfing, watching Collin play, taking vacations, working on his beautiful home not confined to a bed.  MAD AND PISSED OFF.  Aunt Lorrie, Uncle Jim, Chris and Susan should not have to watch their son/brother slip away.  They have been down this road before . Why them again?  MAD AND PISSED OFF.  I cried when I left there which isn't too unusual.  What is unusual is that I continued to cry IN PUBLIC.  Let's face it....I am the person in the family who takes care of everyone else and then goes to some private place and breaks down alone.  NOPE..not this time....cried at the gate waiting for my flight, cried on the shuttle back to my car, cried in my car on the way home, cried when I got home etc etc.  All I can say is despite being pissed off and mad at God I am thankful he has given us such a close family for support and comfort.  Love you all.

THE VILLAGE PEOPLE PART 6.......MOM

Happy Mother's Day Mom and all you other mothers reading this blog.  Once again since it is my blog, my rules, I will say I have the BEST mom EVER.  If you disagree....get your own damn blog:)  Anyhow.....I really have no idea where to begin when I talk about my Mom.

Me and Mom at the Chicago Marathon

Me and Mom in Lincoln, NH

 I think in a lot of ways we are very different.  My Mom puts everyone's needs in front of her own.  Need something cleaned, something cooked, driven somewhere, something watched, someone visited, something organized, someone prayed for.....ask Dee she'll do it.  Not me Dee of course.  While we share a name thanks to Ariel I do not share my Mom's do for other's tendencies.  She is way nicer than I will ever be.  I have been telling my Mom for years she needs to take bitch lessons and learn the word NO and really who better than me to teach her.  I don't think it will do any good though because that is not who she is.  Kind, caring, nurturing, giving, forgiving and awesome.  Those things that drive me nuts sometimes about her are also what make her special.  I am pretty sure I am a big reason why my Mom spends so much time at St. Anthony's and has a hotline to the rectory.  We have this thing called "Every other day" which is what we call it every Tues and Fri when I call my Mom on my way home from work.  Of course it really isn't every other day but whatever.  99% of the time in that few seconds between me dialing my Mom and her answering, someone in the car in front of me will piss me off and I will be spewing the F-word in every grammatical form out there when she picks up the phone.  That used to get me a "Deanne Marie watch your language!!" but now she just starts laughing and tells me she is going to put my name on the prayer circle. I do believe I have a standing reservation on the St. Anthony prayer circle.  My Mom is my biggest cheerleader and has seen most of my major races.  I couldn't dream of doing Lake Placid without her there to see me.  As I have mentioned before there is no place on this earth I would rather be than sitting at my Mom's kitchen table having coffee with her.  No one can take care of me like my Mom can and it helped so much to have her here after my bike crash.  Well not that I remember but I am sure it did.  I am still most impressed by my Mom's ability to know what is best for me and understand what I need to do even though it scares the crap out of her.  One of the very few things I remember about her being here after the crash was her NOT physically pulling me off my trainer when I decided after 12 days it was time to get back on the bike again.  She did come in the room and check on me about 700 times in that 30 min time span but she let me try it.  She tells me all the time how amazed she is by me and what a strong person I am but I don't think she gets that I am that way because I learned from her.  Let's face it Dolores...you have had your share of heartache and trauma in this world and have always bounced back stronger and better.  Monkey see monkey do.  I wish I could give you the world on a silver platter Mom because you deserve it.  I can't but I will say that I love you with all my heart and soul and thank you so very much for ALWAYS being there when I need you and making me feel safe, happy and loved. Thank you for teaching me to be an awesome cook and for attempting to make me like to clean.  At least you succeeded with Jacki and Tracie on that one.  I wish you lived closer to me so I could see you whenever I wanted but until you smarten up and move here we will always have EVERY OTHER DAY and the other 2 or three times a week we usually talk to each other.  You are my hero MOM.  You are truly a rockstar!!!

Mrs. Hobba goes to Fenway

12, 9, 5, 85, 45...SO MANY NUMBERS

12...number of miles I was scheduled to run yesterday
9... number of miles I actually ran yesterday
5...number of hours I rode my bike today
85...number of miles I covered in those 5 hours
45...how many years old I turned today.

First an explanation for the run failure yesterday.  Within 20 secs of starting my left foot landed awkwardly and my ankle twisted VIOLENTLY to the outside.  It hurt so bad I honestly thought I was going to look down and see this

Oh Crap..that is supposed to be attached to my leg!!!

Thankfully that wasn't the case and my foot was still attached but OMG it hurt.  I walked for a few minutes and it felt better so I tried to run.  That was ok so I kept on running.  I felt great.  My heart rate was low, my pace was up, ankle was good..YIPPEE!  Then around 6.25 miles I started to get a pain in my right side.  It felt like someone was sticking a knife in there.  I couldn't take it anymore so I stopped and walked till the pain went away then started running again.  I made it 3/4 of a mile and the pain was back again.  Walk. Run. Pain. Repeat.  Did this till I got back home at 9 miles.  Thought I could stop for a few, have some water and see if I could finish out the run.  As I was standing around I realized how bad my ankle now felt so I made the smart decision to shut it down and call it quits.  I went upstairs and within 15 mins I was cleaned up and on the couch in my compression tights with my ankle elevated, ice on it popping ibuprofen like  they were M&M's.  Within 25 mins I was crying like a baby because my ankle was killing me, I was never going to be able to run again and my IM dream was over.  I wasn't kidding when I said the IM people really need to throw in some therapy sessions.  Cut to less than 24 hrs later after a good bike ride and I am fist-pumping like a member of the Jersey Shore cast and I am ready to high five anyone within 2 feet of me!!!  Ankle isn't 100% but I do think it will be ok tomorrow when I have to run 2 miles after a 2hr bike ride.

YEP..today is my birthday.  Those above numbers aren't bad for this old broad.  The thing about turning 45 is that I am now in a new age group for race ranking purposes.  While road races usually go by 10 year categories, triathlons are generally 5 year categories.  Now my blistering fast :) race times will be compared to all the other 45-49 year old females out there.  I would just once like to race against the 70-74 year olds because maybe then I would have a chance at winning or placing in my age group.

I think I can take this guy....he's 101!!!!

But alas I am stuck in one of the faster age groups out there and unfortuately all the people in it age at the same rate as me so I never get rid of them.  My only hope for scoring race bling at this point is to keep on competing until I am about 90 and all those other people get a nasty case of arthritis over the next decade or so so they can't run anymore!!!

Me getting ready for a race in 30 years!!!

OK I'm done. I need a nap so I have the energy to stuff the world's largest piece of chocolate bread pudding down my throat tonight at dinner because IT'S MY BIRTHDAY.  Stayed tuned for another blog tomorrow.  Gee...I wonder what that will be about?!

THE VILLAGE PEOPLE PART 5.........YINZ

Now if you are not a fan of the Picksburg Stillers or know that it gets slippy out in the winter time then you probably have no idea what or who the hell yinz are.  Yinz is the Western PA version of you guys or y'all.  My yinz is pretty big.  It is made up of 2 parents, 2 sisters, 1 niece, 1 nephew, 5 aunts (pronounced ants BTW!!), 4 uncles, 9 1st cousins and a plethora of cousins-in-law and second cousins.  There simply is not enough room in the blog to talk about all of you but I do want to say that I love you all very much and I am so glad you are reading this blog and following this journey of mine.  It makes me very happy to read all of your comments so keep them coming.  When I think of family I think of things like the big kids table, easter-egg hunts (always fixed huh Mef!!!), Aunt Lorrie's pool, homemade ravioli, the Greenhouse, mass chaos and laughter at each and every family gathering, awesome family reunions, fireworks on the fourth of la, and the first step of a 5 step stoop.  Of course those are just a few.  We all have so many wonderful memories of our times together and none are better than the ones when all of us are in the same place at the same time.  Too bad that doesn't happen often enough.  Honestly I wasn't going to blog this week about the village people but it became necessary for one reason.  Once again a member of yinz needed something and once again the rest of yinz came through.  David put out a request to see his aunts, uncles and cousins.  Within the next two weeks whether coming by car or plane David will see just about every aunt, uncle and cousin.  We will be converging upon the Baltimore suburbs from Ohio, Illinois, Pennsylvania and Massachusetts.  For you non-family member blog readers my cousin David is 44 years old with a beautiful wife and an adorable 5 year old son.  David is also fighting a losing battle with brain cancer.  It has taken so much away from him and frankly it pisses me off.  Stay strong my cousin.  I will see you May 15th.  We all love you dearly.

David and Collin a few years ago

Ok now I need some damn tissues.  Onto something trivial and humorous.  I read undoubtably the best article of my entire lifetime this week.  In fact I identified with it so much I tore it out of the magazine and took it home to post on the refrigerator for Quinn to see.  For some reason she wasn't nearly as impressed with the article as me. 

If it is in print it must be true...My loathing of housework has been validated.

On another note because unless something exciting happens during my 4 hr bike ride tomorrow I won't be writing any training updates this week.......Monday begins my last 11 weeks of training leading up to race day.  It is commonly referred to as the peak period as in your volume, intensity, exhaustion, lack of a life, etc all peak.  Judging by my schedule for next week it is absolutely time to put on my big girl panties and fasten my seat belt because I am looking at over 17 hours of training next week.  OUCH.

This will be Quinn's favorite saying for the next 10 weeks.