THE BAHAMAS

At 2AM this morning Quinn and I finally got home after 5 great days in the Bahamas.  It was a relaxing, fun trip and I have the tan and a few extra pounds to prove it.  After a ridiculously aggravating week at work I simply could not wait to get the hell out of here.  I knew however that I had one last hurdle before I could relax.......flying.  Now don't get me wrong, I like to fly.  The problem is that they don't require an IQ test to fly so I knew the airports will be FULL of idiots who have forgotten how to read or follow directions.  The general public did not disappoint.  There was the women holding up the line to board the plane while looking for her boarding pass.  WTF.  It's not like she didn't have over an hour to get it readily available.  There were those who park themselves in the aisle while arranging their gazillion carry-ons and coats etc while others are trying to get to their seats.  Let's not forgot those who are clearly far too important to turn off their electronic devices when asked and continue to yak on the phone, send emails or update their Facebook status until the flight attendants threaten to take their device away.  Here is what I think their Facebook status should say.......Acting like a complete ass on Jet Blue while person next to me tries to NOT choke the life out of me.  UGH.  And wait there's one more....the father of the family of 5 who despite being given the customs forms at the beginning of the 2hr 45min flight decided to wait to fill all of them out until he was actually in the line to go through customs.  IDIOTS.  Finally we cleared customs, got the shuttle to the hotel and parked ourselves here


AHHHHHHHHHHHHH

The next 5 days went like this...sleep, eat, drink, lay at pool, eat, drink, lay at pool, shower, eat, drink, sleep REPEAT.  We spent a lot of time marveling at the way people dress.  I would under NO circumstances EVER wear a bikini because I know no one needs to see that.  I think you should have to be certified to wear a bikini because honestly there were people there who easily had 100 lbs on me sporting them.  I didn't even know they made them that big.  I don't give two craps how big you are but for the love of God please dress appropriately.  And guys.....if you look down and you can't see your feet because your stomach is in the way then please step away from the Speedo!!!!!!!!!  We have a habit of naming people on vacation also.  Rosario was there..the maid from Will and Grace.  The woman looked just like her.  Dudley Do Right was there also


Remember him????

Now the dude didn't actually look like him much BUT he was Canadian ehh and never shut up the entire time he was there.  I almost jumped in the pool to drown him at one point as he was yapping about our country and how screwed up it is etc.  Really Dudley???  Shut the F up and go back to your own damn country.  There was also Trailer Trash Chick who I never saw once without a drink in one hand and a cigarette in the other.  Perhaps the most amusing yet painful thing that happened all week was at my expense.  For whatever reason there were lots of bees around and as I went to sit up on my beach chair unbenownst to me I sat on one.  The bee took issue with that and stung me soo far up my inner thigh that I really think the damn thing should have at least bought me dinner first!!!!!  I think maybe in some foreign countries we might be married after that encounter.

Mom meet your new son-in-law

Holy crap did that hurt!!!!  The following day the pain was replaced by incessant itching which led me to utter "Why couldn't I get bit somewhere where I could scratch and not look like a creep?!!!"  It looks a bit better finally but man that was not fun.



Now THAT left a mark

I did manage to do something somewhat strenuous while there and climbed the rockwall.  It seemed to be a lot harder than I remember from six years ago.



Does this harnass make my ass look big?  Umm yeah.

The weather was pretty good all week.  Mid to upper 70's but very windy.  This was pretty much as close as Quinn got to the water all week because it was rough.



You got sand where???

It actually got a bit chilly in the afternoon when the wind picked up and the sun dropped behind the buildings.  This is what I had to resort to





No I'm not cold. What gave you that idea???

All in all a great vacation and we brought a little bit of our friend Jim to the Bahamas with us



Dead Horse Beach Athletic Club hits the Bahamas

Despite spending five days with low blood pressure and no stress it took me all of 10 mins after hitting the airport for the trip home before I wanted to smack some sense into someone.  Check in...good...Bahamas immigration..good.  When you travel out of the Bahamas you actually go through US Customs there as opposed to when you land in the states.  This can be good since it saves that whole get your bag, go through customs, recheck bag and go through security nonsense BUT this time it didn't work out so great.  We spent about an hour in line for US Customs and had to deal with all the dumb annoying people and one chick in particular who spent the whole time lamenting the fact that she and her snooty friends didn't use the private jet this time.  It would have saved so much time.  Really Barbie?!!!!  Get over yourself.  Oh well...back to reality peeps.