STONECAT TRAIL MARATHON RACE REPORT

At the early hour of 4:45 AM Steve, Cindy, Kerry and I headed to Ipswich for the race.  We had absolutely no expectations or goals for this race except to have fun and preferably not get hurt.  We were pretty much all undertrained.  Kerry and I both struggled to get serious about training after the IM and Steve and Cindy had just done a marathon at the end of September.  We met Patty and Bonnie there.  Patty had done multiple races leading into this and Bonnie was the craziest of all of us as she signed up for the 50 miler instead of just the marathon.  We put on our team uniforms and headlights and were ready to hit the trails.


Let's get this party started

The race actually started late which in retrospect wasn't that bad because it meant less time running in the dark.  Considering the weather we had leading up to the race the course wasn't in too bad of shape.  Thick mud in some spots, tons of wet leaves down and covering rocks and roots and some puddles that you could pretty much run around.  It was cool to see all the runners standing around with headlamps on.


UMM..where do we go??

We weren't more than 2 miles into the race before I was laughing so hard I swallowed my gum and could barely run.  As was the case most of the day it was at Cindy's expense.  We LOVE you Cindy!!  Cindy is by far the most social of all of us.  That girl will talk to anyone.  Despite having 3 of her friends running with her she started chatting up a few strangers instead.  Shortly thereafter one of them pulled of the trail to stretch a muscle.  Then another jumped off to tie her shoe.  And then one more off to the side with a cramp.  HHMMMMM.  Now Cindy had no one to talk to and when she rejoined us Patty asked the million dollar question.  "What did you say to those people?"  They were dropping like flies!!!"  This of course had us all hysterically laughing and then Kerry and I decided Cindy was like a human battering ram and she could run ahead and just by talking to people clear us a path.  It wasn't long before Cindy struck again.  A lot of this race is singletrack.  For you non-runners that means there is only room for one person so if you are stuck behind a slower runner you need to go off the trail to pass which can be dangerous or they need to step aside for you.  At one point we were stuck behind a bunch of people who were going too slow for us and finally Patty had had it and made her move.  As a group we passed about 6 people or so and at one point Cindy said a bit too loud "only more more to get around" and I think the person was offended because she made a snotty remark as Kerry almost rolled down a cliff while passing her.  Whatever.  Our next laugh fest was a doozy.  I was a bit ahead of the group so I will tell you what I saw from my perspective.  I was at the bottom of a hill waiting for Cindy, Kerry and Patty when I heard hysterical laughing.  I looked up and saw Kerry on all fours on the ground and Cindy standing over her taking pictures.




There's NO crying in marathon running Kerry!!!!

Don't be alarmed.  Kerry wasn't really crying NOR did she fall.  She tripped and luckily for her Cindy was right in front of her which led to Kerry face planting right smack in the middle of Cindy's butt and then bouncing right back up as she and Cindy both remained upright.  Simply amazing.  Kerry then of course began laughing so hard she couldn't stay upright and that is how she ended up on the ground.  Nice catch with your ass Cindy.  I think we can all see that Cindy is a better friend since she offered up her ass as a cushion when we know from a prior blog that Kerry hightailed her ass away me in the same circumstances causing me to draw blood.  Just sayin!!!!  Steve was smart enough to stay away from us during the race but did say he could hear us laughing on several occasions.

Steve is really just trying to get away from us here!!!

  This was pretty much how the rest of the race went.  Lots and lots of laughing.  The aid stations for this race are amazing.  Besides your usual water and gatorade they had PB&J, eggs, bacon, pancakes, soup, cookies, potatoes, chips, pie, grilled cheese, M&M's.etc.  It is an all-out buffet.  Remember there are crazy people out there doing a 50 miler so they can be running for up to 12 hours.  They need food.


Loading up on chips and PB&J at the aid station

Kerry and I finished up the first loop and chatted with Deb as we waited for Cindy and Patty so we could all run the second loop together.


Patty and Cindy finishing up the first loop.

Notice Cindy's flowing hair in the picture.  She was obviously running blistering fast for that to happen.  Also notice Patty's perky bustline thanks to her hydration vest that doubled as a push-up bra!!!!  For those of you who don't know...Deb's husband Jim passed away suddenly and unexpectedly in September.  Not only was he Deb's husband but he was our friend. He is the originator of the Dead Horse Beach Athletic Club and designer of what might possibly be the ugliest, most uncomfortable running shirts I have ever owned!!!!  Jim loved this race and was signed up to do it so Deb decided to run one 12.5 mile loop for Jim and since Deb isn't all that fond of running and we love her dearly we decided we would do it with her.


DHABC doing it for Jim

Off we went and it wasn't long before the laughter began again.  Deb made a potty stop behind a tree except that there were people walking through the woods behind her that got a full moon sighting.  Apparently Cindy did this too at one point during the second loop also.  She squatted behind a tree and yelled "Don't look" to the group which of course made every one of them look her way only to see her head behind a tree but her butt half-way out on the trail.  Oh the joys of running in the woods.


Everyone wanted to take our picture

As you can tell by all the pictures there was a whole lot of stopping during this race.  After hitting the aid station around Mile 17ish my toe was really starting to bother me and the longer I was out there the worse it got so I had to make a decision to go ahead of the girls.  I didn't want to but I wanted the pain to stop so I needed to be done.  I ran the last 8 something miles alone.  I am going have to breakdown and get the damn thing operated on soon I guess.  Anyhow....we all finished eventually and got some sweet sweatshirts with the following logo


Love this sweatshirt

An awesome race on an awesome day with awesome company.  Couldn't ask for anything else. Well..it would have been nice to have Bonnie's company but since she started earlier with the 50 milers we didn't see her too much.  Despite spending half the day together for the race we met at Cindy's that night for wine, beer and food.  The laughter kept on coming and one discussion led to our next race which we will also need to develop as it hasn't been done before.  We were torturing Cindy (again I know) about her making her kids ride their Big Wheels for miles and miles when they were little which led to Patty saying she never had one.  What?!!!!!  So we told her partner Jim to buy her one for Christmas which led him to say "Oh no...she'll find a race somewhere that uses them and then I'll have to go"  This led to the idea of the First Annual Big Wheel 50 Miler.  Adults only.  So after Christmas I will begin training.  Look out peeps I am pimping out my Big Wheel!!

THE BAHAMAS

At 2AM this morning Quinn and I finally got home after 5 great days in the Bahamas.  It was a relaxing, fun trip and I have the tan and a few extra pounds to prove it.  After a ridiculously aggravating week at work I simply could not wait to get the hell out of here.  I knew however that I had one last hurdle before I could relax.......flying.  Now don't get me wrong, I like to fly.  The problem is that they don't require an IQ test to fly so I knew the airports will be FULL of idiots who have forgotten how to read or follow directions.  The general public did not disappoint.  There was the women holding up the line to board the plane while looking for her boarding pass.  WTF.  It's not like she didn't have over an hour to get it readily available.  There were those who park themselves in the aisle while arranging their gazillion carry-ons and coats etc while others are trying to get to their seats.  Let's not forgot those who are clearly far too important to turn off their electronic devices when asked and continue to yak on the phone, send emails or update their Facebook status until the flight attendants threaten to take their device away.  Here is what I think their Facebook status should say.......Acting like a complete ass on Jet Blue while person next to me tries to NOT choke the life out of me.  UGH.  And wait there's one more....the father of the family of 5 who despite being given the customs forms at the beginning of the 2hr 45min flight decided to wait to fill all of them out until he was actually in the line to go through customs.  IDIOTS.  Finally we cleared customs, got the shuttle to the hotel and parked ourselves here


AHHHHHHHHHHHHH

The next 5 days went like this...sleep, eat, drink, lay at pool, eat, drink, lay at pool, shower, eat, drink, sleep REPEAT.  We spent a lot of time marveling at the way people dress.  I would under NO circumstances EVER wear a bikini because I know no one needs to see that.  I think you should have to be certified to wear a bikini because honestly there were people there who easily had 100 lbs on me sporting them.  I didn't even know they made them that big.  I don't give two craps how big you are but for the love of God please dress appropriately.  And guys.....if you look down and you can't see your feet because your stomach is in the way then please step away from the Speedo!!!!!!!!!  We have a habit of naming people on vacation also.  Rosario was there..the maid from Will and Grace.  The woman looked just like her.  Dudley Do Right was there also


Remember him????

Now the dude didn't actually look like him much BUT he was Canadian ehh and never shut up the entire time he was there.  I almost jumped in the pool to drown him at one point as he was yapping about our country and how screwed up it is etc.  Really Dudley???  Shut the F up and go back to your own damn country.  There was also Trailer Trash Chick who I never saw once without a drink in one hand and a cigarette in the other.  Perhaps the most amusing yet painful thing that happened all week was at my expense.  For whatever reason there were lots of bees around and as I went to sit up on my beach chair unbenownst to me I sat on one.  The bee took issue with that and stung me soo far up my inner thigh that I really think the damn thing should have at least bought me dinner first!!!!!  I think maybe in some foreign countries we might be married after that encounter.

Mom meet your new son-in-law

Holy crap did that hurt!!!!  The following day the pain was replaced by incessant itching which led me to utter "Why couldn't I get bit somewhere where I could scratch and not look like a creep?!!!"  It looks a bit better finally but man that was not fun.



Now THAT left a mark

I did manage to do something somewhat strenuous while there and climbed the rockwall.  It seemed to be a lot harder than I remember from six years ago.



Does this harnass make my ass look big?  Umm yeah.

The weather was pretty good all week.  Mid to upper 70's but very windy.  This was pretty much as close as Quinn got to the water all week because it was rough.



You got sand where???

It actually got a bit chilly in the afternoon when the wind picked up and the sun dropped behind the buildings.  This is what I had to resort to





No I'm not cold. What gave you that idea???

All in all a great vacation and we brought a little bit of our friend Jim to the Bahamas with us



Dead Horse Beach Athletic Club hits the Bahamas

Despite spending five days with low blood pressure and no stress it took me all of 10 mins after hitting the airport for the trip home before I wanted to smack some sense into someone.  Check in...good...Bahamas immigration..good.  When you travel out of the Bahamas you actually go through US Customs there as opposed to when you land in the states.  This can be good since it saves that whole get your bag, go through customs, recheck bag and go through security nonsense BUT this time it didn't work out so great.  We spent about an hour in line for US Customs and had to deal with all the dumb annoying people and one chick in particular who spent the whole time lamenting the fact that she and her snooty friends didn't use the private jet this time.  It would have saved so much time.  Really Barbie?!!!!  Get over yourself.  Oh well...back to reality peeps.

I AM OUTTA HERE

So Saturday I was here

 

Ready to go

Here is the Stonecat Trail Marathon.  We do look like total dorks but in our defense the race started in the dark so we needed headlamps.  It was wet, muddy, slippery and a complete and total blast.  I have never laughed so hard while attempting to run a marathon in my life.  I have many details to share about the race BUT I don't have time right now because tomorrow at 6AM I will be on a plane to here


 

This is where you recover from a marathon

If all goes well I should be drunk by 2PM and sunburn by 4.  See you in a week peeps!!!!