DOOBY DOOBY DO

BEWARE THE PENGUIN......anyone remember that Bud Light commercial?  If not you can watch it here http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EVWtq-_VYk8.  Ok but why am I bringing it up you ask.  Well every year since she was knee high, on the first Thursday night in October I have been bringing Ariel to the Salem Halloween parade.  We go to dinner with Quinn and her friend and then they leave us to head to the first of many bars while Ariel and I find a spot to plop down and watch the lamest Halloween parade ever in the Halloween Capital of the World.  There is a theme every year for this parade but it seems like everyone does their own thing and people just pop in anywhere along the way and join.  We simply love this parade and decided last year we were going to crash it and join the fun this year.  The theme for 2012 is animals and when I told Kerry we were going to crash the parade she said Jack's school was dressing up like penguins.  Perfect.  Easy costume to put together and you are all aware of my affinity for the Penguins of Madagascar.  Just for the record...Kerry told me about this while we were out riding bikes and oh yeah...it was raining.  WTF!!  No it wasn't supposed to.  Whatever.  Apparently Mother Nature still has issues with us. But I digress.  So Ariel, Quinn and I hit the craft store for costume supplies yesterday and then loaded up on candy.  We don't think anywhere near enough people throw candy during the parade so we are going to do our part.  Of course I needed Quinn for the craft store part because that kind of stuff isn't my forte...oh crap Tray...I just remembered we forgot your craft sticks...oops.  Anyhow if you put me and a glue gun and glitter and scissors together in one room something bad is bound to happen and I will be permantly glued to some inanimate object although I will be really sparkly.  So next weekend we will make our costumes for the Oct 4th parade.  For those of you who don't live in these parts, Halloween is a month long celebration in Salem so the parade is early and kicks off the madness.  By the time the last two weekends of October roll around I don't even attempt to take my car anywhere.  Sheer madness.  After the costumes are made there is one final detail to work out.  Apparently certain members of my family are a bit concerned about the throwing candy part.  They are afraid that my anger management issues could possible result in me bouncing a roll of Smarties off someone's head at warp speed.  Ariel doesn't really tolerate the general public's stupidity all that well either so the two of us together might just be problematic.  But hey...here's a thought....if you get beamed off the head by a Tootsie Roll or a piece of Super Bubble.......A.  For whatever reason you clearly had it coming, B. You did, said or thought about saying something that annoyed us C. You stole candy from someone younger than you or D. We just totally felt like clocking you upside the head with a piece of candy.  Stay tuned for the parade recap in a few weeks and remember........BEWARE THE PENGUINS!!

UMM YEAH....THAT'S GONNA LEAVE A MARK

Hello my blog-following peeps... big news on the blog front.  Despite bonding all summer over Ironman training, spending umpteem hours together sweating and enduring grueling conditions and accomplishing together the biggest challenge we have ever undertaken, I have finally found Kerry's threshhold for our friendship.  She simply refused to allow me to use her ass to cushion my fall while running yesterday.  Sad I know.....I was a bit choked up myself. Anyhow this is how it all came about.  Cindy, Kerry and I went to Lynn Woods yesterday to get in a two hour run.  Now I love running in the woods but the one bad thing about it is when you get tired running you start dragging your feet a bit.  This isn't so bad on the roads but the kiss of death in the woods where the trails are full of rocks and tree branches.  About an hr and 25 mins in I was dragging ass and my feet when boom.....my foot hit a rock and I started that slow motion "oh crap I am going down" dance.  There was pretty much nothing I could do to stop it.  Now Kerry was running in front of me and upon hearing that unmistakeable sound of someone hitting a rock and then the cascade of dragging feet she said and I quote "I felt something coming and I wasn't sure exactly what it was but I knew I didn't want to get caught in it so I took off."  So there you have it peeps.  I could have landed softly on Kerry's ass but instead hit the ground and executed a stunning slide depositing tons of dirt and gravel into both hands.  Whatever Kerry!!!!  Seriously though thank God she sped off because given the fact that I easily have 20+ lbs on her I would have taken her down like a bowling ball meeting a bowling pin.  Once I got back on my feet we surveyed the damage.  Both palms were bloody and both knees were already sprouting bruises.  Kerry squirted water from her bottle onto my hands to try and wash away some dirt and gravel from the cuts.  Cindy offered up the back of her shorts for me to wipe the blood off but I used my own shorts instead.  She kept pointing to her ass saying "right here" "right here".  Now I knew what she was talking about but Kerry thought she was asking her to squirt water there and could not figure out why the hell Cindy wanted her ass squirted with water.  What a crew we are.  Like any self-respecting runner I walked a few minutes to make sure everything worked and nothing I needed for running hurt and said "Let's go finish this run!"  And so off I went dripping blood for 35 more minutes.  When I got home I had Quinn help me clean up the wounds as much as I could tolerate without crying like a girl.  OMG that hurt. Once again Quinn had to break out multiple first-aid products to put me back together again.  Talk about high maintenance!!! They look pretty good today but my hands are very sore.  Unfortunately you can't appreciate the bruising in the pictures.

In retrospect it could have been worse........this could have happened



Now that would really leave a mark!!!!

I think that might truly be the last straw for my friends.  I have traumatized them enough without breaking out my pasty white ass for them to see!!!!  Cindy, Kerry and I reunited this morning for a bike ride and spent an enjoyable 40 some miles together.  It rained but we kept on riding.  It was like wild kingdom out there. I am pretty sure the animals are planning a takeover because they were in groups today...4 deer, 6 turkeys, a gaggle of geese (no kidding...there were at least 50 of them), 3 horses and squirrels galore.  I did see a few horses asses also but they were in cars trying to see how close they could come to me on the bike.  Idiots. Just how many geese do you need to qualify for a gaggle anyhow?  Anyone out there know?  Anyhow..other notable weekend stuff..went out to dinner last night with Tracie, Ariel and Quinn and had an awesome time.  The only drawback was the little shit sitting at the table behind us who felt the need to scream frequently throughout dinner at the top of his lungs in an ear-piercing tone pissing off just about the entire restaurant.  Now I would never harm a child but I truly wanted to choke the life out of this kids parents.  Idiots.  One more note before I sign-off...a special shout out to Mef (my Aunt Beth for non-family readers) who is in the hospital after a set-back from her hip surgery.  Keep strong Mef and be positive.  I love you!!!!